5 months 3 day later, I am able to drive again…Supervised.

Step one

Move to France from a non reciprocal state like California. The date is April 14, 2023. My residency takes effect when customs stamps my passport.
My residency starts a one year fuse on my driver’s license. In 1 year I will be absolutely fucked if I don’t have a license.

Step 2

Its September 2023-Engage a local auto ecole to provide driver’s lessons, and register me with A.N.T.S.

A.N.T.S. is the Agence Nationale des Titres Sécurisés (National Agency for Secure Documents.)

Step 3

It is now February and no number from A.N.T.S. Contact local auto ecole to enquire how long it should take to get my A.N.T.S. number.

Long story short, A.N.T.S. needed more information from me, but the driving school did not reach out to me to get it.

Do you want A.N.T.S.? Because this is how you do not get A.N.T.S.

Step 5

Contract with a service that takes care of training for the Code portion of the test, the theory. Take their tests. They have a limited curriculum online, their schtick is their webinars which I tuned into once, the teacher didn’t know an answer to a question and I got immediately turned off.

Their translated code book is very good, they offer a PDF of it too.

Zipee.fr

Step 6

Now things are actually in action. I have an ANTS number, It is April and I am now in dry dock. (play “sad trumpet” from The Price is Right.)

I start reading the code.

Step 7
I forgot to mention:
Part of Zipee’s service is that they arrange for you to test with a translator, in English, in Pau or Paris.
See this bit ^ where the word Pau is stricken, well, I was waiting to test in Pau, and then it finally filtered through the bureaucratic muck that the Prefecture of Pau was no longer offering the ability to use a translator.
Not utterly fucked, not tangentially fucked, but inconvenienced in terms of time and money.
Pau is a 2 hour drive. Paris is a few hundred euros of trains and hotels.
(play “sad trumpet” from The Price is Right.)

Step 8

Slam as much online content of the Code tests as I can. It is 6 weeks before my test date in mid-august.

I spend hours every day taking online tests.

I *know all this shit

I slammed down several hundred sample tests, more than 450 anyhow. I listened in French, and translated with google. Codeclick.com had a few thousand panels for 17 euros. I did others, stych.com for instance, but the translations were nonsensical at times. Codeclic didn’t always translate well, but it did most of the time.

The code test is 40 panels. Some are multiple choice. You have to score 35 or better.

They test you on Road signs, Traffic rules, Speed limits, Overtaking, Priorities, Vehicle safety, Environment and fuel-efficient driving, Alcohol and drug regulations, Emergency situations, Pedestrian and cyclist safety, Roundabouts and intersections, Motorway rules, Parking regulations, Vehicle maintenance, Driving in various weather conditions, Use of lights and indicators, Stopping distances, Seatbelt and child safety regulations, Driver behavior and attitude.

Over the course of 6 weeks I went from failing most of the time, to passing all of the time (with a rare failure due to a perfect storm of several poorly translated panels in a single test on top of my error baseline of ~2 wrong per test)

I fed the Zipee provided manual into ChatGPT and had it digest some of the information into tables. Things like blood alcohol content vs penalties. I had it help me find the simple rules of thumb for breaking distance, reaction time and stopping distance.

Step 8

Make the pilgrimage to Paris for the test.
On average, 30% fail the first time. Half of my group failed. I passed.

I receive an email from the school showing that I passed, though not by how much or what I missed. I am sure I passed with a perfect score. As a ‘Murican, I am very competitive. I want my score.

The key is, by many accounts, for a seasoned driver like me, this is the hard part.

Step 9

Driving lessons.
I go back to the place (the place where the fuckwits sat on my paperwork for months on end) and sign up for my classes. They suggest that I take 5 classes. 3 immediately to evaluate me and help me correct bad behavior, and 2 before the driving test to solidify my training.

Step 10

I am judged and found wanting.

I actually did a pretty good job. I would likely pass based on my driving.

According to the instructor, they want you to pass. They go in assuming you will score 100 percent.

The driving test will have 31 points, you need to score 20 or better to pass. 64%… In school a D was 60% to 70%.

The points are about Vehicle Control, Observations, Positioning, Speed Management, Respecting Traffic Rules, Safe and Efficient Driving Decisions, Use of Indicators, Distance Management, Eco-Friendly Driving, Basic Vehicle Maintenance and Controls, Safety Questions, First Aid and Emergency Equipment.

The last three are oral questions and are worth 3 points.

My weak spots

1) When I decelerate or brake I need to observe my rear view mirror.
2) When I turn on my indicators I need to check the corresponding mirror for cyclists or other users.
3) I drive too slow. I need to observe the posted limit.
4) I need to semaphore with my brake lights at intersections where I do not have the right of way, indicating to those behind me that I may stop at any second.
5) I need to use right and left turn lanes for my deceleration.

6) My French is garbage.

I am not terribly worried about the driving stuff. the instructor is going to bark orders at me, I have to understand and react.

In most instances I react by driving. I am allowed to ask them to repeat.

When entering the vehicle, I will have to ensure that the passengers in the vehicle are secured. If I am required to say anything I will freeze.

The end of the test is fun. You stop your car and the instructor wants to know the last 2 digits of the speedometer. that is the question number where they start asking you the last 3 questions…

Keep you engine running until the instructor tells you to shut it off, then you are done…

Step 11

The picture of me above is with the sticker affixed to my car that allows me to drive… supervised.

Holy midlife learner’s permit, Batman! Who knew I’d get a learner’s permit in my late 50’s.

My advice

Take this shit seriously. If you can get residence for several months in a reciprocal state, do so. I have heard rumors that A.N.T.S. now wants to see that you actually lived in the state for a period of time… could just be a rumor.

Don’t assume that living in Florida for a week will satisfy A.N.T.S.

My best information is Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Hampshire, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia, Washington, D.C. are reciprocal states.

Disclaimers

Don’t assume that anything I have told you is correct. I am just some rando with a blog, insomnia, coffee and need to tell my story.

Individual results may vary. Side effects may include weight loss and weight gain and the loss of all facial hair. See your doctor if you feel the code de la route is right for you. Professional driver on a closed course, do not attempt.

FYI, I am not a paid shill for Zipee or Codeclic. I paid and got my money’s worth. You can buy a translated Code book on Amazon as well.

*Knew

Some of it is fading.

I don’t recall the penalties for alcohol based on BAC, I don’t drink. I don’t do drugs. If I felt impaired for any reason, like if I had a contact high, drank moly laced water or licked a suspicious stamp at a rave, I would call a cab.

I do recall things like travel n meters per second from kilometers per hour is divide by 10, multiply by 3.

Stopping distance is like speed in kilometers per hour / 10 and squared then multiplied by 3.